By Daniel Garner
"Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" - Genesis 2: 22-24
This is all the inheritance I give to my dear family: The religion of Christ will give them one which will make them rich indeed" - Patrick Henry, one Founding Father of the United States
There's a joke I always loved whenever I was growing up. It goes that a little boy greeted his grandmother with a big hug and said: "I'm so happy to see you, Grandma! Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
Of course his grandmother asked, "What trick is that, dear?"
"Well," said the little boy excitedly, "I heard Daddy tell Mommy that he would climb the wall if you ever came to visit us again!"
Despite some, well, grand-parental misunderstandings like with the little boy above, families are pretty great! Well, maybe even because of things like that! Genesis 2: 22-24 says:
"Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh"
The Lord saw that Adam was lonely and desired companionship and created Eve. While there are many out there in ministry and the world who are blessed with the gift of singleness (like Paul) most people will at one time or another be married. The Lord desires us to be happy and to love and be loved in return. He understands the longings of our hearts and the yearnings in our soul and wants us to be happy. The flip side of this, though, is that sometimes we do things that will bite us in the rear later on down the road. We confuse lust and love or put horse blinders on when we see someone we think we care about and dive headlong into what we think will be marital bliss. I know many couples who have issues within their relationship and decide that getting married will help them grow closer together.
Well, if you're married or know someone who's done this you know that's simply not true. It's unfortunate for those who do it and have to go through the pain and heartache divorce, especially if there's kids involved. God laid out through Moses in the Old Testament the qualifiers for divorce. He understood that since we are humans, we will make mistakes. Whether it's forgetting to put the toilet seat cover back down, forgetting to use a blinker while driving or marrying someone who's not a match for us. He doesn't like divorce, but He made a concession for it. Like an eraser on the end of a pencil to clear away mistakes that are written down He created an outlet for those who pursue divorce to clear away their marriage. But also just like a pencil when you erase something there's residue left on the paper. Even if the qualifiers are met for divorce, there's still a large amount of pain and heartache that are left over. Memories, mental scars and even possibly physical ones and much more can be leftover long after the divorce decree is signed.
This is why God wants us to be sure we love the way He wants us to love. He created within us the ability and longing for love and also set boundaries for us. He sets those boundaries for us though for a reason. Like warning signs on hilly roads warning of sharp falls He sets those boundaries for us. Not to be spiteful, but like the road sign to stop us from potentially falling into a deep valley of hurt.
Love is not a trite word given on a piece of Valentine's Day candy. Love is the bravery of a single mother. The dedication of a Soldier. The strength to push through your own brokenness to help piece up another. Love was, is, and always will be the art of self-sacrifice. True love is demonstrated in no greater way than by Jesus' sacrifice on the Cross. True love is rising above lust and infatuation.
If you are blessed enough to have someone that truly loves you, who stands by you even when things go bad, tell them. It's natural for us sometimes to do, but never take advantage of them. You never know when you say goodbye on the phone if it will be the last time.
Tell her you love her. Tell her every night and tell her every morning.
Love takes determination. It also takes acceptance and grace.
As gently as you can, help your loved one to understand that we all fall, sooner or later. Nobody lives forever. No one is unblemished. No one gets a free pass to life. But what matters is that we mature, learn, and go out clean. Go out fighting the good fight, not giving into sin, infidelity, misdeeds and failures. That no matter what we do if you have each other and our God you have everything that you need.
No matter what happens.
Life isn't always what we choose to make it; but how we grow, love, mature, and learn from it is.